1. Blog about the things I desperately wanna do. To express myself. To keep my sanity. Everytime I can't do the things I want makes me think of writing this one.
2. I want to bottlefeed my child. God knows how hard I struggled with breastfeeding my baby. Now that he's bigger he is very active-sitting, rolling, playing, bouncing and he's hard to feed. When I breastfeed him in public he would look around and latch and the look around and my boobs will be exposed since I'm not a fan of breastfeeding covers. He also got his 5 teeth now and he bites my nipples whenever he feels it. Imagine me screaming.
3. I don't want to bring my son when going out or attending a party. It hinders my social life. I would be there persistently making him calm. He's always irritated whenever we go out especially when we will eat, he would scream and bounce and I will be irritated too. (I tell you, he's like a toddler.)
4. I want to go back to work. Babysitting is tiring. I want to work to pay for a nanny and help my husband with our finances. And honestly, I wanna wear make up again. (I sound so mean but it's a big thing to me.)
5. I wanna have a good sleep. Since I became pregnant I had disturbed sleeping pattern, worst than studying an exam in college (because I really sleep whenever I want). I hate waking up next to a screaming baby who wants to be cuddled while I was still dreaming about James Reid (LOL. I never dreamt of him ever but he's cute so I'm gonna put him here).
Don't get me wrong. I love my son so much. There's just sometimes I want to break free but I can't do it so I'll just express them in here and maybe dream of what I wanna do.
There are things that holds me back. Things that I wouldn't desperately do just for my own's convinience. I remembered I'm a mom now. All I want is the best for him. And I know it's me who needs to accept this changes.